The spoon of love.
Written by ED on February 25, 2007 – 5:30 am - Posted in Uncategorized |What the HELL!?!? Ed, what sort of nonsense are you up to again? WAIT! Be patient lah~
When was the last time you’ve gotten into an argument with your partner because you were disappointed that he/she didn’t do something you hope to see? Or when was the last time you got into a cold war with your spouse because you failed to get what you hope for? Or perhaps at some point, you started to question yourself why are you doing so much for your partner and yet your partner does not give as much?
Yes, I hear this alot and I must say, everyone including myself, will fall into such a situation.
Alright, you can either read this through or if you wish to have a feel of it, get yourself a decent spoon. Not a teaspoon! Balance it on your index finger and what do you observe? Basically this is what you get.
So what is the big deal about this? Now, a relationship is like this balancing act of the spoon. If you are observant enough, you would have realised the balancing point of the spoon is not exactly at the centre. Likewise in a relationship, there is no absolute equal amount of sacrifices from both parties. The next two pictures below, tell you exactly how this work out.
Now you see what I am trying to tell you? In a relationship, there are times when a man seems to give lesser than his woman. It is not uncommon these days to hear friends complaining how much they have given to their partner, but failed to receive the same amount in return. But as per any other issues in life, there are always two sides to a story. How about turning it around? This is what you get.
I think by now you should be able to make some sense out of this. When you turn the situation around and look at it this way, you are actually viewing a situation from the opposite perspective. Perhaps at some point, your partner has given you more than you have given him.
How many times have we hear of people splitting with their partners because they felt they were shortchanged in it? Plenty? I am not surprised. In our modern day relationships, it is so easy for us to put so much emphasis on what we want, what we hope to get. But yet at the same time, we neglected our partners in what they want and what they hope to receive from us. We are constantly locked in this battle.
My “little brother” Tong asked, why is the spoon wobbling throughout the balance then? Good question I must say.
It is never easy to have a well balanced relationship. The effort put into the relationship and the struggles within are well represented by a wobbling spoon in the process of balancing itself. The quarrels, the fights, the cold war, the tears, the realisation, the understanding and of course, the final compromise. All these are some of the ingredients in balancing a relationship and only those who can manage these well, will eventually end up with a balanced spoon - a balanced relationship. Managing these ingredients well is just like the diagram below.
Balancing a relationship is an every-day thing. It may not necessary means it go strictly on a day-by-day basis. It can also means several different decision making process in a single day concerning a couple. This self-recycling process resides in each and every relationship. There could be times the man ought to take charge of the situation, and there could be times the man should just sit back and let our lovely ladies do what they do best.
We just can’t have too much of something or someone, right? A badly balanced spoon will eventually slip off your finger, topple and that’s the end of your relationship. Being too calculative sometimes hurt a relationship more than striking a balance between man and woman.
So next time, before you go screaming at your partner on why he/she failed to do something, why not take a step back and ask yourself, what have you done for your partner today?
**BTW, that’s MY finger, that’s MY spoon and that’s MY cam-phone at work. So it’s impossible you would have seen these diagrams anywhere else.
October 15th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
[...] post, hehe!) Well, I looked through the February archive and clicked on the title that says The spoon of love yeah, I remembered reading it long ago but never came up with a realization just like what I had [...]
November 27th, 2007 at 12:43 am
[...] do. Perhaps, we can brush it off by saying everything should be balanced. Yet, we know clearly that we need an imbalance to present a balance. I know it sounds very confusing, this world is going crazy anyway. [...]