Endoh’s Dungeon

I was having lunch with C after the presentation in her office when she got me into this discussion? Is it more important for who we are? Or is it more significant for what we do? No, this is not corporate talk on what a company does and her characteristics, but rather individually for ourselves.

I think most of us have heard of the saying; it’s who we are that matters. Especially at times when we are overwhelmed with criticism, half a ton of people would usually advise friends and loved ones to disregard any of these criticisms as long as we are who we are. To a certain extend, this is sometimes what I tell friends. Sometimes, and not all the time.

On the other hand, we know it’s what we do that made the difference. No matter what social backgrounds we are from and characteristics we may have, it still boils down to our action that either make or break anything. When I say anything, it is really anything from trust, love, charity, work, respect and the list just goes on and on. It can even be as simple as an outsider’s perception.

It’s not really an easy thing to draw a line between who we are and what we do. Perhaps, we can brush it off by saying everything should be balanced. Yet, we know clearly that we need an imbalance to present a balance. I know it sounds very confusing, this world is going crazy anyway. LOL!

So now what? Should we ignore the criticism and defend ourselves with “we are just who we are”? Or should we “give up” our own characteristics and identities that define who we are? I was kinda thinking what is the best answer to C when she asked me these questions. It seriously appeared to be a chicken and egg question.

There is one very interesting twist to this discussion when we came to the point to recognize that our actions are somewhat pre-determined by who we are and the beliefs we hold. However, reality also tells us that what we do in real may not factually reflect our natural self. How true!? Just like what Sicarii once mentioned in the Section 377A saga here in Singapore, Christians are somewhat guided by the teachings when making a stand. Apart from that, some free thinkers are also somewhat guided by the healthy family unit values that have been imparted in them since young. We can’t exactly say “who we are” doesn’t matter. It does affect the way we think and the decisions we make.

However, can we bring ourselves to accept an undesirable act even if we know a person is kind-hearted by nature? Say, a man robs another person to feed the orphans. Of course, we know there isn’t really such a person except the fictional figure of Robin Hood. It’s only an example. Can we still say it’s who he is that matters more than what he did? It’s quite an obvious scenario where who he is doesn’t change anything.

In our modern society, we play so many roles in our lives. From children to parents, from employers to employees. After taking a really good one hour over lunch talking about it, I seemed to have this realization that nobody’s gonna bother who I am, or who C is, or even who you are. Yes - YOU - who is reading this right now. Afterall, when things happen… nobody is going to take a second consideration on who you are deep down inside.

Midway through the discussion, both of us were reminded of a particular scene towards the end in Black Hawk Down… where one of the soldiers said something like “Nobody understands why we are doing this. Nobody understands, it’s for the man standing beside me”.

Hmmmmm… … perhaps “I am who I am” has been misused to defend ugly things we do. I think I still prefer the ideology that it still boils down to what we do that matters above everything else.