Endoh’s Dungeon

I just met my (NS) Platoon Commander for supper over the weekend, joking about all the devils and angels during our active NS days. We had the opportunities to be dealing with so many difference individuals with their own unique characters and personalities within such a small compound, we had no choice but to live with it, be it we like a specific person or not.

Come to think of it, it’s really amazing how all of us managed to survive. Of course, most of the boys from across the causeway does not get to taste this unique experience of serving NS with our Army. At the end of it, it’s not just NS that made it fun. It’s the process of going through it that left a deep impression in many of us.

There’s two choices now. Either we talk about the devils, or we talk about the angels. We have both in our Army. Let’s say, I’ll start with the devils. I am sure all of us dislike a certain character. Therefore, I will start with five most-hated, based on general chats I had with my guys.

1. KENGSTER
Who is audacious enough to say they have never “keng” in NS? I doubt there’s anyone. In NS, we never believe in doing anything more than we should. That’s the unspoken rule. Very often what we think is just nice, it’s not enough in the eyes of commanders. But seemingly, the personal standards of doing enough to some is not having to do anything at all. So what’s the best option? Keng lor!

That’s also the time your fellow platoon mates suffer just to cover up that lack of one extra pair of hands.

2. SABO KING
The act of sabotage is the second most hated behaviour among NSmen. Can you imagine having a well deserved break and a fellow soldier volunteered for something that is not even within our scope of duties or expertises? Or worse, the CSM volunteers to activate the company for chores just to get into the good books of senior commanders?

Trust me, the CSM is the biggest Sabo King in the company line and not that soldier in your bunk. CSM has got nothing to do most of the times anyway.

3. SMART-ASS
There are soldiers who are so confident with whatever they do, that they failed to take note of safety precautions. They think they know it better and listens to no advices, not until something bad happens that is. They are also known to act like lone rangers, with disregard to their fellow comrades. The worst of this group, actually think they are qualified enough to speak on behalf of everyone.

4. SIAO-ON KING
In Singlish, they are simply “siao-on”. There is a common trait between a siao-on and a sabo king, often doing things that are totally unnecessary. The siaon-on king however, is a little more severe in the sense that everyday is National Day Parade. His uniforms are starched 365 days a year, his boots are shiny enough to brush your teeth and comb your hair.

The worst I have personally come across, is one who brought along a chamois cloth to polish his boots during outfield trips. Hello… is the President coming?

5. HIDDEN DEVIL
I came to realize this is the one single most hated category of people in the Army. I simply can’t think of a good name for them. Just think, a Platoon Sergeant (PS) who came up with an idea and got his man working on it. When the CSM or OC found out, they flew into a rage. The PS scrutinizes the men openly for not doing it the way they have been ordered to do. Behind the back of his CSM, he goes to his men and tell them they should have been more discreet about that “something”. So basically when CSM delivers the punishment, the PS readily places his men along the firing line.

The worst of the worst, is the PS who maintains his silence and deny all responsibilities over the issue. Again, the men are left along the firing line as sacrifices. The next time the PS needs help, guess what happen? The men goes… “IN YOUR DREAMS!”

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I bet the above raised some memories. NSmen often say we get to make a lot of friends in NS, but most of the times we discovered that there are plenty whom we rather live without. I think I miss the rambutans and durians in Sungei Gedong more than some of the guys.

So, how much is that friendship worth?