Endoh’s Dungeon

A reader by the name of Johnson left a very angry comment in my previous post, read my previous post if you’d like. I ain’t mad with him of course, but his short comment has firmly rooted the basis of my statement “that many civil servants condemned by the average Singaporeans”.

In the previous post, I talked about some heartfelt feelings I had of civil service. I spoke of the daunting viruses that spreaded themselves across the entire network, and I also spoke against my fellow peers… two of which stay a couple of blocks away from me. For a bit, it sounded a little damning of the civil service we have, but like I have said at the end of it, there were the good and the bad.

Johnson reminded me of an incident that happened to one of my polytechnic classmate, who’s serving with the traffic police back then. Many years ago, he revealed one incident where he stopped a speeding lorry (close to 100km/hr I think) along ECP but was confronted by the driver instead. One part of the conversation he related was stuck in my head all these years.

Driver: You’re a public servant, right?
Officer: Yes, sir. Do you know why I am stopping you?
Driver: I am a member of public, right?
Officer: Yes.
Driver: If I am a member of public, then you are my servant. And that makes me your master. Do you think it’s right for the servant to punish the master?

If common sense is still prevalent with Singaporeans, it will not be difficult to guess this particular driver was “rewarded” his experience of a lifetime. That aside, it also showed us what some people can do with their hatred, be it grounded or baseless. But as a general note, these are often the kind of hatred civil servants have to deal with.

In fact, what Johnson assumed baselessly was actually what I intended to touch on in this second post. It is true that one of the many aspects of my resignation years ago was somewhat attributed by the promotional progress in my department. However, what he assumed wrongly was the part about compensation. In fact, my contract does not offer any pension, so what compensation to talk about?

You’d see, in any career, be it civil service or private sector, most of us look forward to one thing - PROGRESS! Without progress, our careers will go stagnant. For a civil servant to gun for promotions, is just like how employees in the private sector would often hop ships to other companies for a higher position or even for a small salary increase. In private sector, progress is mostly tied to the position we hold, the responsibilities we bear, the number of staffs we lead and how can we forget the gradual salary increments? Likewise, an average civil servant’s career will also be stagnant in the absence of promotion, higher responsibilities and salary increase. Which employee in the world (regardless of the nature of business) doesn’t seek recognition and progress? Don’t you?

Hence, when we use the same exact circumstances for Johnson, will he be contented with a stagnant career… doing the same thing day-in day-out… no salary increase… no recognition of the hardwork he put in… no promotion for him… serving unappreciative bosses… until the day he surrender his Identity Card, only to have a hole punched on it? As some of us know, these are the main differences in mentality between an average employee and entrepreneurs who stepped out of their shells.

Now, let’s question ourselves… is it considered corrupted for a civil servant to gun for promotions like how an employee in the private sector would? And also, does being a civil servant automatically deny them of any Rights to pursue “progress”?

Having said that, comes the next big question mark. In what manner, do we seek and achieve these progress?

Perhaps due to the materialistic worlds we live in, we associate progress with who we know more than what we have done. Maybe I am an idealist, but in my little ideal world, the contributions of one (should) play a bigger role than who he knows. It’s an ugly truth, I know. That’s how more than half of the world works anyway. However, it works that way because it is of nature or is it because we allowed it that way?

Johnson is right, in the sense that a small part of my resignation was due to the barriers I faced. Hold your horses… what barriers? Is it a barrier implicated by the system? Or is it a barrier attributed by our own inefficiencies? Or even a barrier imposed by someone who just didn’t like you?

While battling in my heart (should I or should I not resign), I had multiple barriers displayed openly infront of me. What are the barriers that I can overcome and how? What are the barriers that I cannot overcome and required me to go against my own principles and conscience to get around them? These are mainly the two things I explored in that short time leading up to the resignation letter.

If my career came to a point where it’s required of me to “please” someone in the higher order to achieve my progress, I would gladly say… save it for yourself. Call it pride, call it principle, call it conscience or anything you deem fit, I had to stop this culture from polluting me at least. And my way of stopping this pollution in me, was calling it quits altogether. My duties included the work required of me, and as far as I can recall… the creed I proudly recited upon my commissioning did not say anything about “pleasing my boss to his personal preferences”.

Why shouldn’t promotions and progress in a career be pegged to one’s performance instead of one’s PR capabilities? (PR in this case denotes: Pleasure Ratings and not Public Relations.) If such PR capabilities is the key to promotion and progress, why should these civil servants continue to give up their off days or even worked on public holidays to ensure a peaceful country where Johnson is still given the opportunity to display his hatred?

I think this is not only a virus in the civil service sector but even in the private sector, such a disease do exist. I am very sure all of you office workers get equally sick and tired of such environments from bosses’ attitudes to office politics as well. The same logic applies to civil servants, unless you do not consider them humans.

It has been three years since I resigned, it’s not long but it’s not short either. The fact that I can still feed myself comfortably now goes to show that I need not put up with these barriers at all. In fact, I crossed the barriers without having to oppose my conscience and principles. While I inched forward bit by bit, these barriers were left behind my back, still stationery in their potholes. Only those who are unable to cross the barriers (or unwilling/unable to) will continue to get stuck in the same potholes that these barriers are situated.

Upon realisation of my unhappiness with my then boss, another mentor (HOD of another high profile department) offered me the opportunity of a lifetime. Transfer to his department and work directly under his charge. His conditions? I take orders from nobody but him, since he called the shots there. Attractive offer, isn’t it?

I chose resignation nevertheless. It felt good that somewhere… someone… who was faraway in a department which had little dealings with mine, appreciated and was confident in my capabilities. However, to get into a senior position which can possibly open up my doors wide in this certain organization, based on pulling strings (he even personally submitted my particulars) is out of my vocabulary. I still feel bad about letting him down all these years, for the path he had initially paved for me.

So as Johnson had put it, is it a disgraceful thing to resign from a job because of such barriers and ill practices in the system? In a way, I think I am still smarter to cross the barriers and move further upfront while Johnson is still caught up with his thoughts on such barriers. Perhaps, that is also why some of my peers are still stuck in that whirlpool, unable to “help themselves”. If I can’t change the system all alone by myself, I will have to see what changes I can do on my part in my own life, instead of blaming the system all the time. I can understand it is not easy for some of them too, with a wife and children to feed… just like any other Singaporean.

Afterall, should some of you resign and go jobless, you can be assured it’s not the problem of Mr Johnson. So why should his hatred be my problem?

In that sense, resigning from the system is almost the most logical thing to do if one seeks progress without having to betray oneself. Many people (both civil service and private sector) are still very much caught in such a system. They feel trapped and helpless, but is it really so? To sidetrack a bit, all it takes is a little thinking, planning and guts to snap out of any such situations. We can never avoid it, and we can never stop it from coming to us. After each barrier we crossed, there are more and higher barriers for us to overcome in the path ahead.

Well, that’s life… so live your life, and not waste your life.