Endoh’s Dungeon

Xizor was asking me this morning, do I delete phone numbers from my mobile phone? My answer was yes! I do not only do that in my phone but it’s also a practice in my MSN Messenger as well, perhaps two to three times a year.

Forgive me for my short term memory, I remembered I talked about this issue once but I just can’t remember where. Many “friends” have either enquired or (angrily) charged that I had deleted them from my MSN list. To some, it is an evidence of how much values and importance I had placed in these “friendships”. Frequently, these confrontations occured when someone messages me with an identification email that, either I couldn’t remember or recognize.

It’s a pity, of how a “friendship” can become a burden or liability.

As I mentioned, I do spring cleaning in my MSN list two to three times a year. This is a necessary practice to adopt personally, to prevent my list from getting too long. No, I don’t mean getting too long with too many friends. Rather, I am preventing it from getting too long with too many acquaintances who talk to me only when the sun rise from the west. Acquaintances are different from friends, agree? I think you get what I mean, right?

At one point, I had more than 200 contacts in my MSN list. It was quite a while ago, that I did a mass spring cleaning again. End of August, if I hadn’t remembered wrongly. It’s now reduced to almost 100. It’s a good thing, that I no longer have to keep track of people who don’t talk. It’s even a better thing, to get rid of acquaintances who are expecting me to initiate conversations without fail. Hello, I don’t have have the time!

That’s not it. All the contacts in my MSN list are further “classified” into three distinctive groups. Some have asked, why should I classify individuals? Am I discriminating towards certain people? Of course not. If you are wondering what these categories are all about, here’s a little “Guide to MSN-ing with Mr Endoh”.

Endoh’s Club (12 pax)
This is an exclusive category of people whom have been with me for many years. They included classmates more than ten years ago to fellow reservists from my National Service days. Despite the years, the friendships are still firmly rooted and we still communicate up til this very day.

Executive (20 pax)
This category consists of associates, friends and even fellow bloggers whom have shown to be sincere in our friendships. Although we do not talk as frequently as we wished, there are still exchanges here and there over time.

Probation (69 pax)
All new additions go here, unless I have already known you previously. Basically, I don’t check the Probation category very much. Sometimes, I can’t be bothered even to see who’s online in there. I strike up chats only occasionally with people - especially new ones - to see how things go.

Never mind the titles of these categories, they are solely for my own humour sake. It’s the purpose of these categories that matter more. It’s funny how people often come charging at me, whenever such a situation arise. The thing is, why am I being expected to initiate conversations all the time?

“Friendship” to me, is a two ways affair. It’s meaningless when I am only the one putting in effort to keep in touch while another person is sitting back, thinking little of it. If you’re busy, so am I. If you’re not putting in the effort, why should I? Am I not better off putting my care and concern on friends who also care about me? It does puzzles me, how do people see “friendship” these days? Are you only coming to me when you have something to benefit from me?

Some have already began to wonder, why haven’t they heard from me for a long time. These are the simple reasons;

1. I find myself initiating conversations all the time, I’m tired and I have stopped engaging you.
2. I don’t check Probation category all the time. Once in a while I do, but in general I wouldn’t really bother much or care who’s online.
   
3. If someone is also treating me as a “friend” as claimed, I believe once in a while they will still drop a note or something.
4. Worse of the lot, you have been deleted since eons ago due to a lack of communication. It’s even more disastrous, when i don’t remember who you are.

Well, I don’t need the world to be my friend. I am already very fortunate to have a small group of true friends who bother to put in their fair share of effort like I did. I am grateful for that. Even in blogosphere, quite a handful of us regularly visit each others’ blogs. This two-way traffic is called “communication”. That is what I find - fun & interactive. If you care little, what reason do I have to waste my time then?

If you’re one of those who’s about to slap me for the kind of friend I am, I offer my invitation to you before the mirror… have you been one yourself?

AND don’t ask me where you stand… when something happens to you and I cry for you, you will know! LOL!