Endoh’s Dungeon

Mintea asked all of us yesterday (whoever were in the chatbox) if we would be jealous if our other halves are seen closely with the opposite gender in a photograph. Without much hesitation, I said YES! Why bother to lie in the first place? I believe everyone of us will feel the jealousy in us at some point due to certain behaviours from other partners.

Jealousy can be a rather queer feeling, to be honest. While I can’t pinpoint exactly what the feeling comprises of, I can roughly say it contains elements of anger, disappointment or even self-reproach. Some of us experience it more, while some others would prefer to tuck this emotion away and suffer in silence. But coming to terms and knowing what causes our jealousy will come in handy when resolving conflicts, particularly between couples.

Dealing with jealousy is never an easy task. What is easy in life anyway? Like what I told Mintea, we occasionally do things that trigger off the jealousy in our partners even if it was unintentional. On some occasions, we immerse ourselves in a certain activity and we failed to realize the subtle perception we are passing on to people around us. It’s interesting though, that whatever jealousy we place in others… we are not spared too.

I think in our modern world, we are beginning to think lesser about our partners’ emotions except for ourselves. This “me me me me me first” culture inevitably causes plenty of splits every other day. As I sat back thinking once in a while, does anyone still believe in taking care of their partner first before thinking about himself/herself? It’s a sad truth, because even I fall into this undesirable habit to place myself before my partner. The tendency is even higher when one has not fully recovered from past ugly relationships. Healing, can take forever. And sometimes, all we need is someone to understand why we are feeling that way. Take note however, understanding why we feel that way is not their responsibility to heal us. Healing is still very much a self-improvement process.

Of course, while jealousy tells us how much one party loves another, too much jealousy is not good either. I know it’s tough when everyone of us have our own stories and past, once bitten twice shy afterall. When too much jealousy gets into the relationship, it can contribute into a possessive nature. That’s what some of you know as “a control freak”. In severe cases, jealousy can even drive one to take the life of another.

So is it good or bad to be feeling jealous? Well, I think it can be both.

I actually recommended that all of us should pause in our tracks from time to time, and do some self-reflection on how we have place jealousy into our partners. It’s really not their fault all the time when they feel jealous, and the same idea applies to us too. It’s often due to a certain act, and if all of us can take a minute to observe the situations that cause constant jealousy, then we can address to the root of the issue directly.

Additionally, we could also be looking at open conversations to set right the foundations of a relationship.
An open conversation is probably the only real opportunity for both parties to voice out their displeasures. Playing the guessing game to deal with jealousy is probably not a good idea too. Once in a while maybe, but it doesn’t work all the time.

Love is never about money. Love is never binding. Love is never about ourselves. Love is placing the person we love before ourselves, just like how we love ourselves.

Have you been feeling jealous lately? How about writing a post in your blog to share what you think?